Lunes, Pebrero 15, 2016

How to SURVIVE Long-Distance-Relationship?

My relationship with this handsome man started YEAR AGO. (February 14, 2015). So yeah, we just celebrated our 1st anniversary yesterday. We celebrated it apart.

My man went abroad for a 2-year contract job, that's why we celebrated our FIRST ANNIVERSARY apart. I know, it sucks right? Even so, he still managed to surprise me with the help of extenders (circle of friends we both belong with).

Boquet of roses (a dozen) + 4 ft. Life size Bear cuddler + Ferrero + Red ribbon chocolate cake

Honestly, I did not expect anything since he'd already sent me a video showcasing his talent (HAHAHA!) .. And truthfully I am contented with that 'cause it took him a lot of courage and effort for that vid (I promised him I'll never show it to anyone, but we can negotiate on that, kidding!).

How then was he able to surprise me?
I basically stay at a dormitory near my University, so it's only during weekends that I get to travel back to my parent's place to bond with them and do my duties in our church. Feb 14 fell on a Sunday, a very busy day for me. After church (around 9pm) my good friend gave me a ride home. She asked me how our anniversary went (I still have no idea by that time). I told her giddly the video sent to me. As soon as I reached my parent's place, they told me to change my clothes first, before I eat my dinner. I did and went straight to my room, checked my bed and saw these laid on my bed. Imagine the shock (in a good way) I had to absorb upon seeing these:

There was a moment of silence for about a minute or two. Seriously! I really had no idea, not a single hint! Am I really too dumb to notice or feel like there's something like this that's going to happen? Well, I guess that's just how SURPRISE works, right?

Anyway, going back to the main topic, how can we survive LDR (Long Distance-Relationship)? These ideas were randomly arranged:

1. Constant Communication.
     We're not talking about once a week nor once a month communication. With the technology we have right now? I say EVERYDAY communication. Make sure both of you have at least one of the following accounts (fb, VIBER, Skype, what's app, line). Do not worry about the topics you have to discuss everyday. It does not have to be sensible at times! ;) my favorite line would always be "how's your day dear?"

2. Good morning and Good night
    I do not know for other couples, but for us it is very important to show that my partner is the first thing / person I think about as soon as I wake up. Moreover, the "Good night" part would give your partner an assurance that you're safe and you have nothing else to do but to sleep.

3. What keeps you busy?
You may want to tell your partner your itinerary for the day, so he or she will not get worried if you happen to miss some of his calls or fail to reply on his messages. If he knows your schedule, it adds up to a future reference in case something happens.

4. Be his DIARY
Make sure to ask how his day went by, what were his accomplishments, or were there problems you can help him with. You do not have to be a stress absorber .. But listening to him will help release his stress or boost his confidence.

5. Ask for his permission / Opinion
We do not want a controlling partner. But since you're in a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, asking for your partner's permission or opinions would give him a sense of belongingness. That even if you two were apart, you still want to consider his views in your decisions.

6. AVOID "Let's BREAK-UP / COOL OFF" lines
A couple that does not argue, has too many secrets to keep. I do not commend frequent arguments though, but you should not be afraid if the two of you end up with an argument. See it as a room for you to present and disclose each other's principles in life. Your perspective might be different from his. Meet half-way. Try to put yourself in his shoes and vice versa. Mutual understanding would always save your relationship. The only time that "Let's break up / cool off" line could be like a "spell cast upon" is if you've already tried everything to fix your problem.

7. Be sensitive but not too sensitive
Know when your partner wants your attention / affection / endearment / equivalent to. Careful of the words that may offend your partner especially if messages were sent via chat or sms. Remember, these have no feelings. You do not wish to be misinterpreted which could lead to argument.
However, being too sensitive over little things or mistakes of your partner could be problematic too. Try not to give him a daily dose of you being a cry-baby.

8. Change for the better
"Accept me for who I am," only works for a couple who do not wish to grow and to last long. You change for the better, if not the best. Change, as we all know is the only thing that is permanent. You change because you want to grow. You want to grow and be more mature, because you want to make it work. However, try not to emphasize your partner's flaws. Instead, encourage him that you believe he can do better.

9. Trust.
This is something that could not be bought. We must earn this. There are millions of ways that trust can be built between the two of you. For LDR to work, it is very important that you have a good foundation of TRUST. Decide up to what extent the two of you can be transparent. It helps.

10. Love Unconditionally
This is the hardest part. Your partner might not give the same amount of effort as compared to yours. If you're measuring or weighing things now, that is not love anymore. Love is selfless. Never forget to put God in the center of your relationship.


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